77th_emo_earl | [Back-Dated, Open] Titus A-muddled, or Natural Brother

He may have a natural brother...

For a long time, Titus often dreamed of having a brother, dreamed of having an older brother to bear the title and the crown and the inheritance, but not like this, not in this place, not in this place, where titles and bloodlines barely mean anything. In their world, if he had known this sooner, he would gave handed over his crown gladly. Now more than ever, the words that the Steerpike he had known had snarled with his last breath haunt Titus: "You were lucky..."

But now that his suspicions have been all but confirmed, he is not sure what to think nor what to feel, much less what to make of the situation, and these thoughts leave him restless on his bed. His discreet encounter with Robin kept his mind off these things -- it was easy to forget with Robin's mouth working it's magic on his inexperienced flesh -- but now that he is alone, his mind returns to the notions that left him troubled.

His worst enemy and he may share the same blood, the same father, though clearly not the same mother. If this was Gormenghast, his enemy might be the rightful heir, and he, Titus, might be the usurper.

These ideas crawl through his mind like creepers, pushing aside all other thoughts like the roots breaking apart the stones they climb upon. No longer able to sleep, he pushes back the covers, letting them slide to the floor, before rising and pulling on his trousers and a dressing gown, shoving his feet into his shoes. He heads down to the kitchen, in search of some warm milk and a biscuit -- a childish way to settle one's whirling thoughts, but it seems as good as any at this point. Though he might also be hiding from himself the fact that he's hoping to find someone to talk to and to help him make sense of everything that is whirling in his head right now.

Backdated to a day or two after he made some unsettling discoveries. Looking specifically for Helen (M2), but he's open to other people offering an open ear and a concerned heart.

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She shrugs, trying to look as if she doesn't care, but her eyes are full of melancholy.

"Only love, really, and its discontents," she replies. She doesn't want to talk about Melisande right now.

He doesn't push, as he's had quite enough of love and desire for the moment, between his interlude with Robin and the strange things that surrounded the discovery of the discreetly shelved books. "I am sorry to hear that love has not come easily for you, nor its path run smoothly," he says. "I hope that you find a more kindly love and soon, to drive out these memories."

She smiles a little. "I'm trying, and looking. I have hope."

"Is there anyone who has delighted you with his company and sought to win your heart?" he asks. "I hope that I do not seem to pry: you are a dear friend and I would be honored to acquaint myself with those whom you trust and for whom you care."

"There have been several--that's the problem," she replies with a little laugh.

She pauses.

"I guess you count as one of them, really."

He chuckles a bit, looking away modestly. "You honor me and you humble me at the same time, Iphigenia," he says. "But I suppose that in finding more than one lover, you increase your chance of finding someone whose personality is in harmony with yours."

She blushes. "Maybe. Or maybe not."

"I suppose that such tactics increase ones chance of finding a person who is wrong for you as much as it does in finding the right one," he says, solemnly. "But it is a new year and a time to hope for new things, is it not?"

"That's a nice way of looking at it, Titus," she says, smiling. "You always seem to have hope. I like that."

"Hope was the thing that kept me from going mad while I dwelled in Gormenghast, toiling at the rounds of the Ritual," he says. "I suppose that I carried it over into this place, so that I do not succumb to despair since I cannot leave and continue my travels."

"And that's a very good thing, I promise you," she replies with a nod.

He manages a wry smile, as he says, "I paid rather dearly when I tried to find a path out of the forest some months ago: a storm blew in and a lightning strike frightened my horse so that it threw me and left me in a swoon. When I finally awakened, I was soaked the skin and caught a nasty cold."

"But you've recovered, haven't you?" She sounds worried. "Someone helped you?"

"Yes, a kindly woman named Helen looked after me through the worst, and a girl named Delilah helped me to find an airier room for my convalescence," he says. "I'm cured now: the cough lingered, but that too is gone."

"I'm glad to hear that. I don't want to worry about you."

"I suppose that worrying about another is merely a sign that one is concerned for their well-being, but I would not want your concern to cause you to become anxious on my account," he says. "I only want for you to be happy."

She blushes a little at that. "You're very kind, Titus. It's one of the reasons why I like you."

Compliments are something relatively foreign to him, and so he looks away, blushing, but a smile crosses his face and his eyes beam with pleasure.

"And I like it when you blush like that, too," she says, grinning.

"You're so kind to me, that I can't help but blush at your compliments," he replies. "I'm rather accustomed to people finding fault with everything that I do, but all that is in the past, fortunately."

"But how could anyone find fault with you?" she asks, surprised. "You're wonderful."

"I am the earl in my domain, and as such, it is my duty to perform to perform the Rituals that are the life of the castle," he says. "Except that I am, of course, an imperfect young man, always making mistakes and fumbling things, something which drove the senior Master of the Ritual, one Mr. Barquentine, to distraction. I had no interest in something which was laid upon my shoulders when I was too young to understand it."

"But anyone in your position would act the same way that you did," she insists. "I can't blame you at all."

He smiles, glad to find someone who thinks as he did about his world. "You put my heart at ease, Iphigenia."

Now it's her turn to blush. "I'm glad I have."

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